Tech Support Rants #2: FIRE!

Tech Support Rants 3:

So this is the tech support rant for Tuesday, whatever the date is cuz I don’t really know. I don’t pay attention to things like that. Tuesday, I held off on this one because I thought I would get a little more today. Maybe it’s for Wednesday, I have no idea. Anyway, I’m way behind. I didn’t go on about training, I missed days because I didn’t have any really bad calls. Actually this week I’ve had really good calls until yesterday, which was Wednesday the 27th or something like that. Anyway, so call comes in and customer says, “I’m calling because my computer caught fire.”

The agent sits there and seems to go “Oh, your computer caught fire. Well, that’s interesting. Uh, well, are you at the computer?”

The customer’s like, “Well no. I’m calling for my son who’s not here at the moment, and the computer isn’t here with him.”

And so the agent goes, “Well, oh, let me see what I can do.” And he puts the customer on hold. It’s kind of a long hold. At this point the agent hasn’t asked anything like, “Well is the fire put pout? Is everyone okay?” You know… simple common sense questions, you know. Kind of like… make sure that the customer’s okay and not calling you when they should be calling the fire department instead. They actually train us on that. *sigh*

You know I think the training is worthless. I don’t think it sinks in to half these people that they have, and ….argh… a quarter or half of the other half is just there because they can breathe. And then half of the other half, which is half of the half of the half of the half… I think. Anyway, they’re the ones that actually know what they’re doing and can do the job well. Too bad they can’t infect the others with how to do the job well.

Anyways, the agent comes back and says, “Well it’s Dell’s policy that we can’t help you unless you’re in front of the computer.” Uh… yeah… so uh, of course this guy gets a really low score and basically gets told, “I’m sorry. You did the wrong thing.” So… because there is no policy like that. There is nothing that says you have to be in front of the computer to help to troubleshoot it. Especially when it comes to somebody saying their computer caught on fire. There’s absolutely nothing that says anything about the customer has to be in front of the computer.

But this is what makes it all the better. The supervisor for this agent wrote me an email today saying “I don’t accept this score,” Or this red flag as we call them because that’s what happens, you get so many red flags you’re supposed to be fired because they’re supposed to be severe violations of the policies that are put in place. And so he comes back and says, “I don’t accept this red flag because the agent did exactly what he was supposed to do.”

I basically... had one of those moments where I had my jaw drop open, and I said, “What? How could he have done what he was supposed to do? He didn’t even check to see if the people were all right, if the computer was not on fire anymore!”

He did finally tell the customer, ‘Uh well…..I wouldn’t use that computer anymore.” At the end of the call, but…. First thing; is the computer unplugged? Is everyone okay? Was anyone hurt in the fire? Is the fire out?” Those should be among the first things that you ask, not the last things that you say! But… the supervisor didn’t officially dispute it, so as far as I know he might have by now.

But, you know, it’s kind of the ridiculous that even the supervisor sits there and says, “Well he did what he was supposed to do.” And…uh… I’d like to see where the policy says that he did what he was supposed to do. *sigh*

Jeez… you know, if you ever call and you get somebody in Utah, well… just hope it’s one of the southern places in Utah and not the northern one. That’s all I’m going to say. Uh… yeah it’s kind of obvious where I live, so, you know… I don’t really care. This is, just, it gets so ridiculous, and this has stuck with me for… I don’t know... it’s probably been almost 12 hours. Probably because I sent myself an email to remind me, “Hah! This happened!” Gotta love email. Like it a lot better than phones. But that’s another story and it has nothing to do with this. So there you go…um… I’m gonna shut up and stop saying Um.

After these messages...

So Lights Off is coming to the App Store.
Probably one of the games I enjoy the most because its a brain puzzle. Those are the only games that I can play over and over again and will always bring me back. I'm sure this will become a permanent addition to my homescreen.
This was the first native iPhone app and now with the SDK everyone can experience it.
http://www.lightsoffapp.com/ for more info and how to buy.

Tech and You, or How to Not Get Hung Up On By Your Tech Support Person

This will probably be the shortest post for tech support related advice you'll see. Honestly the answer to this is very, very simple.

The best way to do everything you can to not get hung up on by the person on the other side of the line when you call tech support is to just be calm.

Unfortunately I can't tell you this is a guarantee that you won't be hung up on, I've been hung up on for asking for something as simple as an explanation, or asking a question that was too hard for the agent I was talking to.

So be calm, don't sound upset or frustrated, don't make demands or get hostile. If you do, apologize. It shows that you understand you made the mistake and want to keep working to fix the problem.

Remember, most tech support people do not get paid enough for what they do. Most will be more than happy to stay on the line longer with someone who's pleasant to talk to. If you're unpleasant, usually the goal will be to do whatever they can do to get you off the line as fast as possible.

Tech Support Rants #1: Networking

A customer called in, had a problem with her web browser. Web browser wouldn’t work. IM worked, her weather bug application worked, everything except the web browser – Firefox and IE – worked. The agent decided oh, well this is a network problem, and started checking the network connection using ping. Well, ping didn’t work either and so the agent told the customer, “Your internet’s not working.”

The customer said, “No it’s just the web browser that’s not working. My other internet stuff is working. I’m chatting with my friends right now.”

And the agent said, “Well. No, you internet is not working.” [Yes, he argued with the customer over what was working.] This basically didn’t work out very well and I don’t imagine the customer was very happy at the end of the call, but we only get to listen to 45 minutes of the call.

And after the 45 minutes, well then we don’t get to listen anymore. It would have been nice to listen to the end, but looking at the notes that the agent left at the end, he had no clue what was going on. He never checked the IE settings, never checked internet options, never checked proxy settings, never cleaned the cache, never cleaned the temp, never cleaned the cookies. You know… skipped some of the basics. That stuff.

It’s amazing how many people work at this company, are supposed to be A+ certified, and don’t know how to trouble shoot a network. I have to say the majority of calls are network problems. Especially wireless. It’s insane how bad they are at wireless troubleshooting. You’d think that this would be covered in training. Well it is, very briefly. But still... there’s some common sense stuff. Every agent will disable the factory installed application and turn on WZC, and when that connects they’ll say “Oh, you’re fine, goodbye.” Except it’s not because they’re not even supporting everything they’re supposed to. Oh, by the way, if you ever call tech support for a wireless problem and they turn on WZC and don’t use the factory installed application, which is probably better, then uh… give ‘em hell about it. Please. For QA’s sake. [repetitive/removed] It’d be nice to have somebody go off on an agent for being an idiot. In fact, we’d all get a laugh out of it. And we need some laughs because honestly these are horrible calls. There isn’t… well ok I’d say there isn’t one, but there are a few who can actually take a call, troubleshoot, and follow the policies that they have to follow. And there’s not that many. [There’s not even a script they have to follow.] They do have an order that they should do things in, but it’s an order that covers the 1st 3 minutes of the call and the last 30 seconds of the call isn’t that hard to follow. I mean, I wouldn’t think so but apparently it is.

This has been edited from the original recording, Edits are enclosed with brackets [].
If you want to view the original video you can do so here

Tech Support Rants Introduction

I decided back when I worked for a major computer company that I needed a way to vent frustrations. You know when you're told "Your call may be recored for quality assurance" Well that was my job, listening to the recordings. Unfortuantly some of the calls were so horrible that I couldn't go on not sharing them. Now this has nothing to do with the customer that was calling in. It's all the "professional's" fault. Everyone who takes the call is supposed to be A+ Certified, which means that they're supposed to be qualified to fix a computer. But some of them made me question their ability to think let alone fix a computer. It was so bad that some of the first thoughts a normal person would have didn't even occur to the people being paid to take the calls. There are only a few posts for this series since I no longer work there and it got to the point where the calls just repeated the same things so enjoy.

(These posts were pulled from videos that were recorded at an earlier date)

Alien Abduction Safety Instructions

(This was inspired by Penn and Teller's Bullshit...)

Welcome to Interplanetary flight 66. If you have not yet boarded our flight please make sure you store any loose objects in your glove compartment as levitation can cause them to become dangerous at face level.

If you continue to experience static or interference please make sure that all electronics are turned off, this will save battery life for you drive back home and free you from having to get a jump start.

The examination table is fitted with indestructible restraints for your own safety.

In the event that we don't enjoy your company, our vehicle is fitted with 6 emergency exits, 2 in front, 2 in the floor and 2 in back.

If you experience a loss of time, soft hands will lower from hidden compartments in the ceiling to gently wake you before you are released

If at any time you feel a slight probing sensation, and are not restrained, please curl up in the fetal position as it will be more comfortable.

In the unlikely event of a water landing we will use your body as a flotation device.

Please make sure your doors are unlocked and your seatbelt are unfastened, we look forward to seeing you shortly.

Why you are more likely to get a foreign person when you call Tech Support.

So I just talked to a former coworker of mine today and found out some interesting information about the Tech Support industry. It’s not that they can pay less, though that has something to do with it. 

The company I used to work for had many locations world wide and they had multiple locations on the same "project" or "account" (For example, Microsoft or Dell). Now, this is the same company running locations in the USA and outside the USA so they get the money either way. 

But here's why the foreigners are smarter than those in the USA. Contracts. In the USA, we mostly have what's called "Right to work" laws which state that; "You may quit or be fired for any reason at any time without notice." Not so in these other countries; they have contracts that read, "You cannot be terminated because of loss of project or for any other reason than violation of policy." Or something to that effect. This means that those in the USA doing the same job can be fired at anytime while those not in the USA will get paid even if the project is pulled and they sit on their ass at home. 

This means it’s in the larger company's best interest to keep the people outside the USA employed and working because they have to pay them no matter what. Then, when it comes time to reduce the workforce, the cuts come from the employees who are not under a contract, those inside the USA. It doesn't matter that the customers who are calling prefer to talk to those in the USA or that customer service ratings are higher because of that. Nope, because the people sitting in the corporate office still get the same pay no matter what and they even get a bonus for reducing the budget. 

The only way this would stop is if the 1st party provides its own support. That means Dell or Microsoft or HP or whoever would have to directly hire, train, and manage their own tech support staff. (Dell and Microsoft both directly hire support staff to help their best customers.) Then, they would care about customer satisfaction more because it would directly affect their sales and what ends up in their pockets.