Tech and You, or How to Not Get Hung Up On By Your Tech Support Person

This will probably be the shortest post for tech support related advice you'll see. Honestly the answer to this is very, very simple.

The best way to do everything you can to not get hung up on by the person on the other side of the line when you call tech support is to just be calm.

Unfortunately I can't tell you this is a guarantee that you won't be hung up on, I've been hung up on for asking for something as simple as an explanation, or asking a question that was too hard for the agent I was talking to.

So be calm, don't sound upset or frustrated, don't make demands or get hostile. If you do, apologize. It shows that you understand you made the mistake and want to keep working to fix the problem.

Remember, most tech support people do not get paid enough for what they do. Most will be more than happy to stay on the line longer with someone who's pleasant to talk to. If you're unpleasant, usually the goal will be to do whatever they can do to get you off the line as fast as possible.

Tech Support Rants #1: Networking

A customer called in, had a problem with her web browser. Web browser wouldn’t work. IM worked, her weather bug application worked, everything except the web browser – Firefox and IE – worked. The agent decided oh, well this is a network problem, and started checking the network connection using ping. Well, ping didn’t work either and so the agent told the customer, “Your internet’s not working.”

The customer said, “No it’s just the web browser that’s not working. My other internet stuff is working. I’m chatting with my friends right now.”

And the agent said, “Well. No, you internet is not working.” [Yes, he argued with the customer over what was working.] This basically didn’t work out very well and I don’t imagine the customer was very happy at the end of the call, but we only get to listen to 45 minutes of the call.

And after the 45 minutes, well then we don’t get to listen anymore. It would have been nice to listen to the end, but looking at the notes that the agent left at the end, he had no clue what was going on. He never checked the IE settings, never checked internet options, never checked proxy settings, never cleaned the cache, never cleaned the temp, never cleaned the cookies. You know… skipped some of the basics. That stuff.

It’s amazing how many people work at this company, are supposed to be A+ certified, and don’t know how to trouble shoot a network. I have to say the majority of calls are network problems. Especially wireless. It’s insane how bad they are at wireless troubleshooting. You’d think that this would be covered in training. Well it is, very briefly. But still... there’s some common sense stuff. Every agent will disable the factory installed application and turn on WZC, and when that connects they’ll say “Oh, you’re fine, goodbye.” Except it’s not because they’re not even supporting everything they’re supposed to. Oh, by the way, if you ever call tech support for a wireless problem and they turn on WZC and don’t use the factory installed application, which is probably better, then uh… give ‘em hell about it. Please. For QA’s sake. [repetitive/removed] It’d be nice to have somebody go off on an agent for being an idiot. In fact, we’d all get a laugh out of it. And we need some laughs because honestly these are horrible calls. There isn’t… well ok I’d say there isn’t one, but there are a few who can actually take a call, troubleshoot, and follow the policies that they have to follow. And there’s not that many. [There’s not even a script they have to follow.] They do have an order that they should do things in, but it’s an order that covers the 1st 3 minutes of the call and the last 30 seconds of the call isn’t that hard to follow. I mean, I wouldn’t think so but apparently it is.

This has been edited from the original recording, Edits are enclosed with brackets [].
If you want to view the original video you can do so here

Tech Support Rants Introduction

I decided back when I worked for a major computer company that I needed a way to vent frustrations. You know when you're told "Your call may be recored for quality assurance" Well that was my job, listening to the recordings. Unfortuantly some of the calls were so horrible that I couldn't go on not sharing them. Now this has nothing to do with the customer that was calling in. It's all the "professional's" fault. Everyone who takes the call is supposed to be A+ Certified, which means that they're supposed to be qualified to fix a computer. But some of them made me question their ability to think let alone fix a computer. It was so bad that some of the first thoughts a normal person would have didn't even occur to the people being paid to take the calls. There are only a few posts for this series since I no longer work there and it got to the point where the calls just repeated the same things so enjoy.

(These posts were pulled from videos that were recorded at an earlier date)

Alien Abduction Safety Instructions

(This was inspired by Penn and Teller's Bullshit...)

Welcome to Interplanetary flight 66. If you have not yet boarded our flight please make sure you store any loose objects in your glove compartment as levitation can cause them to become dangerous at face level.

If you continue to experience static or interference please make sure that all electronics are turned off, this will save battery life for you drive back home and free you from having to get a jump start.

The examination table is fitted with indestructible restraints for your own safety.

In the event that we don't enjoy your company, our vehicle is fitted with 6 emergency exits, 2 in front, 2 in the floor and 2 in back.

If you experience a loss of time, soft hands will lower from hidden compartments in the ceiling to gently wake you before you are released

If at any time you feel a slight probing sensation, and are not restrained, please curl up in the fetal position as it will be more comfortable.

In the unlikely event of a water landing we will use your body as a flotation device.

Please make sure your doors are unlocked and your seatbelt are unfastened, we look forward to seeing you shortly.

Why you are more likely to get a foreign person when you call Tech Support.

So I just talked to a former coworker of mine today and found out some interesting information about the Tech Support industry. It’s not that they can pay less, though that has something to do with it. 

The company I used to work for had many locations world wide and they had multiple locations on the same "project" or "account" (For example, Microsoft or Dell). Now, this is the same company running locations in the USA and outside the USA so they get the money either way. 

But here's why the foreigners are smarter than those in the USA. Contracts. In the USA, we mostly have what's called "Right to work" laws which state that; "You may quit or be fired for any reason at any time without notice." Not so in these other countries; they have contracts that read, "You cannot be terminated because of loss of project or for any other reason than violation of policy." Or something to that effect. This means that those in the USA doing the same job can be fired at anytime while those not in the USA will get paid even if the project is pulled and they sit on their ass at home. 

This means it’s in the larger company's best interest to keep the people outside the USA employed and working because they have to pay them no matter what. Then, when it comes time to reduce the workforce, the cuts come from the employees who are not under a contract, those inside the USA. It doesn't matter that the customers who are calling prefer to talk to those in the USA or that customer service ratings are higher because of that. Nope, because the people sitting in the corporate office still get the same pay no matter what and they even get a bonus for reducing the budget. 

The only way this would stop is if the 1st party provides its own support. That means Dell or Microsoft or HP or whoever would have to directly hire, train, and manage their own tech support staff. (Dell and Microsoft both directly hire support staff to help their best customers.) Then, they would care about customer satisfaction more because it would directly affect their sales and what ends up in their pockets.

Cable Modem Troubleshooting

Recently, I had problems with my cable modem. Due to my knowledge in the area of networking, the first thing I thought was that the network needed to be reset. I unplugged the modem and the router, and then plugged them back in after having them powered down for about thirty seconds. This reset it. That didn't fix my problem. So, my next step was to call my Internet Service Provider. I asked them to reset the modem. (This led to one of the funniest conversations I've had in my life; if I followed the advice of the ISP's tech, I would always think my Windows XP computer was infected with spyware because the tech (lets call him Bill) insisted that "svchost.exe" in the process list was spyware. Then, after I connected my Mac, running OS X, directly to the modem and the connection was still slow, Bill said my Mac was also infected with spyware . This was news to me since I hadn't installed any and there's no known spyware for the Mac in the wild. But I needed to get rid of all those svchost.exe files that were running. Needless to say, I didn't listen to Bill very much longer and soon hung up.) Thanks to Bill's wonderful advice and lack of any knowledge whatsoever, I had to call back and talk to someone else for them to send a reset signal to my modem. That didn't fix the problem either. By this time, I've gone and connected my computer (a Macbook Pro)[already mentioned] directly to the modem so that I can rule out the router as being an issue. Funny thing is, when having my ISP test the connection speeds, the speeds were fine with nothing connected to the modem, but once a computer was connected, the speeds dropped to a horrible crawl. I decided to replace the modem and well, that fixed it. But how did I come to this conclusion? Well, I'm going to provide some of my troubleshooting steps to everyone out there now. 

Step One: You've noticed that your connection is slow, even "speed tests" (though not always accurate) show that your connection is slow. (I use speedtest.net for mine) You can open your command line (In Windows, click on Start then click on Run and type "cmd" (without the quotes) then press the Enter key. From here you can type "ping google.com" (again without quotes) and press Enter. For people on a Mac, go into your Applications folder, Utilities, Terminal, and type "ping -c 4 google.com" the -c 4 will only let it ping 4 times, instead of infinite.)  Most people should have an average of 50ms in the reply time for a cable connection. 

Now you know there's a problem with the connection; ping times are high. Well, the next thing to check is that if your computer is the problem. If you're on Windows, shut down the computer and when you turn it on tap the F8 key until you get the Windows boot Options menu. From here you can select Safe Mode with Networking and see if your connection is any faster. If it’s not, chances are it’s not your computer. If you're on Linux or a Mac, shut down all the programs you're running and try the tests in step one again. If you don't have problems in Safe Mode or with no programs running, you might need to clean your system of viruses or gray-ware (malware, spyware, adware, etc). 

Step Two: Now you know it’s not your computer. Well it’s time to unplug the modem and the router and leave them turned off for about 30 seconds, then plug them back in. This resets both of them. Now run the tests in Step One again and see what happens. Still having problems?

Step Three: Plug the computer directly into the modem. ONLY DO THIS IF YOU HAVE A FIREWALL ON YOUR COMPUTER!!! (In Windows go into the Control Panel and the Security Center and turn the firewall on. On a Mac the firewall is in System Preferences, either under Sharing or Security.) Now, with the computer plugged directly into the modem, run the tests in Step One again. If you still have a problem, now is the time to call your ISP.

Step Four: When you get the tech on the line politely explain what you have done before calling. Tell the tech that you are going to disconnect your computer from the modem and ask him/her to ping the modem without anything connected to it. Then, after that's done, connect your computer and ask them to ping it again. Chances are if the ping is fast with nothing connected and slow with a computer connected, then the modem has gone bad. If you rented the modem from the ISP, ask the tech if he can send out a new one. If you bought your modem, thank the tech for the work he did and then go purchase a new modem. (If it doesn't work you can usually return it.) 

Step Five: Replacing the modem didn't work? Time to call your ISP again and schedule a tech to come and check the cables. By this point, you've ruled out everything else that could be a problem. The good news is that you've ruled everything else out. The bad news is that you have to wait for someone else to come out and test things to fix it.