(This was inspired by Penn and Teller's Bullshit...)
Welcome to Interplanetary flight 66. If you have not yet boarded our flight please make sure you store any loose objects in your glove compartment as levitation can cause them to become dangerous at face level.
If you continue to experience static or interference please make sure that all electronics are turned off, this will save battery life for you drive back home and free you from having to get a jump start.
The examination table is fitted with indestructible restraints for your own safety.
In the event that we don't enjoy your company, our vehicle is fitted with 6 emergency exits, 2 in front, 2 in the floor and 2 in back.
If you experience a loss of time, soft hands will lower from hidden compartments in the ceiling to gently wake you before you are released
If at any time you feel a slight probing sensation, and are not restrained, please curl up in the fetal position as it will be more comfortable.
In the unlikely event of a water landing we will use your body as a flotation device.
Please make sure your doors are unlocked and your seatbelt are unfastened, we look forward to seeing you shortly.
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